I took my post off because I am not sure if it was abuse (like all of the posts on here--I am so sorry this happened to all of you) and because I am not proud of my role in it all.

So while it may help many to speak of these things and I do believe that when we are truthful it is healing--there are also situations where people are not ready talk about these things because it brings it all back and makes them feel traumatized or just embarrassed. While I am not trying to hide the truth, it is also OK if I am more comfortable keeping some things private. This is everyone's personal choice in that we have to decide what works best for us. For many of you, I know sharing is healing (though we never completely heal, only learn to accept, cope, be stronger). A lot of my experiences have been colored by the fact that I have very extreme anxiety and realizing that helps me understand more about why the first time was not a positive experience.

One of the worst things about abuse from my POV is when abusers deny their role in it all. When there is "he/she said he/she said" someone is lying and this is as bad as the crime. I find stories in the news where I do not know who is lying to be very triggering but also want to add that I do believe everyone here. No one deserves to go through this.