That is the beginning of the Light when You begin to see You don't deserve to be treated like this! I am assuming that You know that Your partner is BPD.

Have You studied BPD? What are the symptoms? My SO is uNPD and it helps me to study NPD symptoms and when he starts to rant then I go through the symptoms list and Say to Myself things like "He is raging to get control." "He is triangulating me with My mother" [/COLOR]

It sounds like You are starting to get out of the fog. That is a big improvement! Give Yourself some credit!

My NPD USED TO keep me awake during the night ranting...That is considered TORTURE You do know that right? You need to find someplace safe to go when that happens. Is there a door that You can lock to keep the BPD out? You might just tell the BPD that it is torture to do that and put a boundary down for that behavior.

I don't know a lot about BPD but I have read that IF YOU try and soothe
them it helps. Have You tried that? With NPDs they like to give pain. I THINK with BPD they feel like they are being discarded and go off on that. So, IF YOU FEEL LIKE THAT...You could tell them How Much You love them and How You want to be with them.