My parents had no idea their dysfunctions created any form of neglect because they felt they were doing the best they could & honestly had no idea how to parent. I only finally sorted out understanding their dysfunctions a few years ago....long after they had died. But it gave me better insight into my own parenting problems & that I also married a guy who had the same dysfunctional characteristics as my dad.
This insight gave me a good chance to talk to my 30+ year old daughter & explain & apologize for how bad my parenting was & give her a deeper understanding of the actual dynamics between her parents all those years. Not just what she may have assumed she saw.....she was stuck in a broken family just like I was only the break was different...because I had fought hard to be nothing like my mom so I found my own way to add to a broken marriage that our daughter lived in.