As a child, I was taught by everyone I associated with that whatever I did was wrong. That no matter what I did, it was wrong and if anyone had to suffer the aftermath of it, I were to be the blame for it. Even if it had nothing to do with me... Even by my own parents there were times where I felt so neglected that I thought I was adopted... Maybe I'd have a real family somewhere else...
This may not be the right place to post but I'm not sure because its also partially neglect but, does childhood neglect only come from parents?
What about the neglect we suffered while growing up.. by people whom we thought were friends but just merely used us as an excuse if anything happened and blamed anything on us because we were an easy target...

How do we love ourselves when from such a young age, we were taught that our happiness would only bring people pain... Whenever we want things our way or anything it's always wrong. But why is it ok when other people do it? How is it ok that they could hurt us without thinking of our feelings, yet when we hurt anyone , we get attacked by everyone... How is it that people that harmed us are always protected and we who try not to harm anyone always gets the blame...

This is why she got so exhausted... this is why she wanted to end her life... Because at the end of the day, she gets blamed for existing and she gets blame for trying to take the easy way out by ending her life... So when will it be ok for us to make our own decisions without getting blamed by the whole world..? When will we be able to stop thinking about other people...

But this is where self love comes in place right? For us to not care about anyone, for us to do what we want whether they like it or not... For us to just shut people off... This is why we rather not communicate with people.. because in the end, they always find ways to attack us... Are we such an easy target...?

Yumi.