Hello, Miryuiki and welcome to the forums!
This is something I find difficult too. I think one of the keys are to beware of the automatic negative thoughts in your head. Have you ever done CBT? It can be helpful in that regard. Realizing that negative things people may have said are not necessarily the truth of the situation. You might try an exercise of writing some of the negative things you were told, then writing a countering positive statement to each.
Another thing I find helpful is to immerse yourself in doing things you love. It can help you gain a sense of who you are in a positive way.
Maybe I misunderstand your last paragraph, but I don't think loving yourself is about shutting people out and not caring about people or whether they like things or not. It's more understanding that you have an
equal place in the world, an equal right to have your voice heard.
Hope you find something helpful here.
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Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure