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cptsdwhoa
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cptsdwhoa One day, one step at a time
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: Somewhere in the 1990s
Posts: 748
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Default Oct 09, 2018 at 10:58 AM
 
I realize now that some of my family members see me as vulnerable and weak. Perhaps this is due to my struggles with MI and partly because of my grandmother treating me that way (which has influenced them I think). I've struggled with the trauma for years (just now realizing it) so I did seem weak, and as my grandmother said, "made myself a victim" (which I now know is learned helplessness due to trauma). I'm also a kindhearted person and cry from stress sometimes. There seems to be no room for criers in this family.

So, I see that particularly my grandmother and brother treat me like a child who doesn't know any better. I'm brought back to a particular moment. I moved out of my grandmother's place recently.

It doesn't help that one minute I just need to get a backbone and the other minute I'm unstable in my grandmother's opinion. But, I guess my brother thinks I'm a helpless child as well. Yes, I'm a bit naive to the world (why that is could probably fill up a book lol), but as if I was a five year old having to be told not to talk to strangers my brother actually warned me about world's dangers before I moved out.

Okay fair enough. But did he really have to tell me-a woman of almost 30 years old-to not allow strangers into my place, don't follow strangers into their apartments, stay away from drugs, and not to follow anybody anywhere? Like really? Do you really believe I'm that gullible? I'm NOT five years old! Why would I ever do that? Oy.
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