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rise13eyond · Oct 12, 2018 at 12:48 AM

I totally get you. (I mean mine was sexually abusive). At this point I'm telling people, because it's easier to put simply, is that I will never date a man again. I will never marry a man, or be in close proximity to one unless someone I trust is within shouting distance. And right now it's true. I don't trust men. Any men. Except like my dad and my grandpa but I digress. I want nothing to do with men. The last time I was alone with a man I had a panic attack because of it. So that in mind maybe it's better to stay in a safe place, even if someone else thinks it's unreasonable. And I wasn't exaggerating when I said ALL (well you know like I said above). Yeah I know not all men do these things, but some do. And there is no way to tell them apart. It's kind of like having a handful of skittles and being told a bunch of them are poisoned but not which ones. How hesitant would you be to eat them?
Honestly I don't think the point of recovery is to "get over" something. I don't think you can ever just get over these things. It happened. You'll probably always remember it, it will always be an uncomfortable topic, and you'll probably be much more cautious because of it. But you can get to a place where you don't just live with it, you live in spite of it (spite is a wonderful motivator for me), you smile a genuine smile because you know that even though bad things did and can happen, good things will still happen too. What's most important is your health, your feelings, your safety, and (very important) feeling safe despite it. And that IS an attainable goal. Maybe you wont reach it this week. This month, this year, this decade, but it's important to know that you WILL.