So I skimmed a book on childhood neglect and it's like a big realisation. My father is a video game addict and would do the following, not answer when I spoke to him, mumble a response, get mad that I couldn't hear him. He never made eye contact when I spoke to him which made me feel extremely invalidated to my core as a human being. The only time he would make eye contact was when he was mad at me, I could never tell if it was a legitimate reason he was mad or because he is a snap case.

I have social anxiety disorder and it was so severe that I asked my mom if she could home school me on 2 or 3 occassions. The answer was allways no or I don't have time. Never why do you feel you want to be home schooled? What kid asks to be homeschooled?

The book I read referred to not what happened but what didn't happen!

My mom would allways drive my sister everywhere when she wanted to go to a friend's place. She would drive her both ways.

My dad would never let me go anywhere allways coming up with stupid excuses. When I finally was aloud to go somewhere my mom wouldn't drive me.

So I really didn't have any close friends growing up. I just sucked it up and figured I guess I don't need to go anywhere, played video games my entire childhood.

The book was great for identifying I was massively emotionally neglected as a child but what do I do now?