I don't recommend using the massager for any reason. You have a wife. She's better enough and perhaps talk to a sex therapist. Maybe they can help you understand why you shouldn't be worried about your own personal feelings. Doesn't mean you should be attached to it. Remember love comes first before sex. So pick your wife first because she give you comfort than a freaking toy. If you're single that's a different story. Good Luck. You don't have to take my advice but I hope you recover from this issue. Having guilt is not a healthy feeling.