I know that during our first (or maybe also in the second) year of our work together the T was probably sexually attracted to me. I did not know it by then but it sort of came out later. So in that sense he did deal with his feelings on his own and did not bring them to sessions.

I have been told previously (also by my H) that I exhibited a certain seductive appearance or way of being, which was half unconscious to me. In some situations I realised it as I saw that certain types of people very easily fell for me for some reason. I suspect that in some other instances I was completely unaware of it. In most cases I wasn't actively trying to be seductive though. Rather it was because I had such huge troubles with connecting with people in normal human level and thus I seemed to be somewhat mysterious, interesting and unavailable that for certain type of people this probably felt very attractive. People with normal ability to connect with other people payed no attention to me however, I guess they sensed that I'm not being "interesting" but there is something wrong with me.

Anyway, I guess that was the dynamic played out in the beginning and my T perceived me as being seductive and thus felt sexually attracted to me. Anyway, this period ended to give room for hatred and aggression and because those feelings were far earlier and more infantile then all this sexual stuff vanished. I suppose it was all a defence and as I'm able to be more real now with people in general then I suppose I've generally lost this seductive quality.

I am expecting to start working on my sexuality at some point in therapy though and I do expect the sexual feelings to come into play again, but now for the purpose of doing the work I need to do for myself.