Wow, you have a lot on our plate. Both husband and child with bipolar is a *lot* to shoulder.

I can understand your resistance to seeking therapy. FWIW, it definitely helped me - I was able to cash in a few free meetings through my work's mental health program - hopefully, this is an option you might be able to explore later on.

Above all else, you've *got* to work on your own well-being. Some of us hyper-compartmentalize in order to deal, but in the absence of those tactics, being up-front about the situation is really the first step in taking control of it (and your own mental health).

Quick story: In the Corporate world (I'm an IT manager for a large company that shall remain nameless), the volume of email we receive is *out-of-control*. I always advise my team to block out their calendar -- literally, open up their calendars, and create events that block out their time -- for lunches, and uninterrupted periods of work. Then, they can dedicate a key piece of their time to catching up on emails, later on, toward the end of the week.

I did the exact same thing with my SO: I have blocked out periods of my real-life calendar to get my own S___ together. This time is a non-negotiable; they don't get to invade it. Amid the chaos and manic episodes, there are simply times *I must check-out*.

This worked wonders for me. Perhaps its a worth a try?
- dedicate fixed times throughout the week that are for *you*.
- make it clear to the family these don't budge.
- when episodes hit, stop them before they start. "We'll deal with this later, I'm in the middle of something now. I'm not ignoring you, but I'm simply unable to handle this now. We'll chat again at XX:XX o'clock" (structure helps, so give them a specific time).

Hope this helps.