Well he's violent and has grabbed you hard and slammed a laptop on your fingers so that's already abusive. Breaking things and punching walls etc is considered emotionally abusive, because it sends the message that "this is what I'm capable of doing to you" and "this represents what I want to direct at you." Being controlling is abusive too. So yes, these are huge red flags and he's already passed all the warning signs straight into actual abuse. Your rocking back and forth and the shock.. it's clear you are currently being traumatised. Please seek help and try to remove yourself from the situation and the relationship. Can you afford to live on your own or stay with a friend/family member?