Hi wrestlingmom, I am glad you found this forum and hope you get lots of support here! 22 years... I don‘t think anyone can tell you anything you haven‘t seen, heard or lived through. All I can tell you are the three Cs: you didn‘t cause it, you can‘t cure it and you can‘t control it. But you can focus on you and take care of yourself! That will also be a good example to your boy I think. I wish you strength and resilience to do what you have to do to stay whole!