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Old 10-29-2018, 12:08 AM
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Default Re: Heart broken by my upcoming last session

Scarcejoy your feelings are very normal and natural, and should be explored as part of the termination process.

I had intense feelings for my last therapist too. I was very honest with him about them. At the beginning of therapy, my dad passed very suddenly, and I told him he had to be a dad to me. As time went on, my feelings moved from attachment/parenting to romantic. We ended up doing what no therapist is supposed to do with their client. It was very damaging in many ways (which is why it is never supposed to happen).

I have a new therapist now. He is also a Catholic priest and I think that is what keeps me from having romantic feelings toward him. But I am obsessed with him. I text and email him constantly. Like half a dozen or more times a day. He teaches two of my classes at university and I sit front and centre so he sees me. I think about him all day every day. I just want him to protect me and make everything right in my life. I am terrified of losing him.

I hope you will explore these feelings regarding your former therapist with your new therapist. There is a lot of therapeutic value to that. And while it's beyond difficult (I just sent my T a very long email explaining everything above and I am literally sweating buckets), it can be very freeing as well.
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