Thank you, comethisfar. I'll definitely look into that book.

Psychiatrists my husband has seen have said he has depression/anxiety. But when I read about BPD, I see some similarities to him, at least recently. Before, he could be moody, sure, but nothing too bad. It's in the last three-four months that things have been more difficult, particularly the last six weeks or so. I don't know if BPD can wax and wane a bit or if it stays the same all the time.

A lot of his trouble is linked to his weight. He's been overweight before (before I met him) and he lost and kept off over 50 pounds. His mother was very critical of him during his overweight period and has always been vocal about weight issues. (Fat people are lazy and prone to all kinds of health problems, etc.) So, any tick up in the scale sends his mood crashing. He'll decide not to eat all day, which makes him feel even more awful and irritable and makes him lash out more. I'm underweight, which doesn't really help our relationship. But the deciding to not eat may qualify as self-harm, in a way.

My sister was anorexic when we were teens and a lot of his behavior reminds me of hers. But, at the same time, there are other symptoms that predate his weight problems. He's always had anger management issues, according to him.

It's at a point now where I'm afraid every day which husband I'll have (or that he'll change partway through). I live in fear that the word "family" will come up or something having to do with my family will appear and he'll lash out. Or that he'll go on his anti-doctor kick. I can't agree with him. Yes, there are bad doctors. But, no, they're not all only out for money. Not all of them are uncaring. Yet if I don't agree with him and feed into his feelings, then I'm against him and don't really love him.

I plan to pick up that book this afternoon. Here's hoping. Thank you for your support and advice!