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Old 10-29-2018, 10:01 PM
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KitRacer KitRacer is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 27
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Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 27

3 yr Member
Default Something about stress

I'm having an issue lately. I mean, a few, but let's stick to one right now.

Im bipolar type 2. I have been bouncing around from low to hypomanic and back again repeatedly since my recent move, new job. This makes sense. I wasn't adjusting meds either, to try to help, because the move was far enough I was without a pdoc and was not having a lot of luck when I had the energy to pursue a new one. A lot of that is just background.

I talk to a therapist, but I am hesitant to bring this up because I find her attractive. We have talked about sex, and we have talked about how I'm craving it from my wife and feel like at times if someone asked, I would very possibly say yes.

I know this is not going to happen but I get a bit anxious picking up my son, 3, because one of the teachers is very cute. I almost think I might get anxious seeing my therapist at times but I don't wonder if it's because there is so much I want to talk about. Never seems to be as much as you think when you are there talking for ~1 hr.

I don't know where all that fits in. I want to have sex, but my 8 months pregnant wife is hardly interested and in engaging in any sexual activity. I masterbate every night while I watch porn. It's momentarily relieving, but almost worse in the end as I almost feel ashamed of the act afterwards. Especially that I'd love to be engaging in sex with my wife, not a computer screen.

None of this makes any sense. I can't really get down to what I'm looking for. I don't know what it is. Probably me reaching out for someone to say that it isn't abnormal, but I need to keep it in check. I think my therapist says that. Kinda. It's good to know that it's happening and why and that it's something I can use to identify if I am in a hypomanic state. I need interventions though.

Not sure how to end this, none of it seems to elicit any sort of response that I think I'm looking for. We will see I guess.
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