I quit drinking for 8 years....it was not the BEST 8 years of my life as advertised...but I believe it kept me alive...till now anyway.

My sister died in Sept of drugs and alcohol...by accident...just one time too much.

Seems like everytime I drink I do it a little too much...luckily I am not hugely addicted to drugs...and only use my benzo when I wake up in the middle of the night shaking and sweating.

I saw my b/f with another girl on Friday in his house..and she was sitting on his bed...Thankfully, they were both dressed.

Then I went into another spiral after being sober for 10 months again. That is somewhat of a lie...when my sister and I had a fight 3 days before she died....I drank when she left here....after 10 months...the anxiety was overpowering to me.

Then she died....I drank again..I'm a binge drinker...then I got good...a couple weeks....Then I wanted to drink again...then I stopped and last Friday saw my boyfriend with another girl and just have been struggling.

Also my Dad has dementia and a big part of my world I spend at least 2 hours a day with him and it is overwhemling and I don't want to do it...but its good for him and for me.

Anyway...Today I am starting the fight...I set myself up with clean sheets....raimen noodles, gatorade, an italian grinder that can be heated and I also ate an egg...the first thing I ate in 4 days...

Food matters..if you want to get sober..food matters.
And so does the "recovery" kit. (Ramen, Gatorade, Eggs, bread, jello)
Wish me luck