Hard truth? You cannot help someone who doesn't want it, or isn't willing to follow through. His well being and happiness is nobody's cross to bear but his own. The fact that you've allowed him to waste your time, your energy, and your efforts for 22 YEARS is, I'll be blunt - Horrifying. Yeah, love makes us endure all sorts of hardships - and I'm positive you guys have had some good times spattered in there as well; which is likely why you're still together... and it might be hard on your son; but life can be hard, and unfair, and cruel - and just about everyone learns that lesson at some point in their life; and for those that don't... the end result usually isn't good. Better to learn it when they're young, so when they're older they'll be less likely to manipulated for 22 years like you have.
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“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.” -Frederick Douglass
