Hard truth? You cannot help someone who doesn't want it, or isn't willing to follow through. His well being and happiness is nobody's cross to bear but his own. The fact that you've allowed him to waste your time, your energy, and your efforts for 22 YEARS is, I'll be blunt - Horrifying. Yeah, love makes us endure all sorts of hardships - and I'm positive you guys have had some good times spattered in there as well; which is likely why you're still together... and it might be hard on your son; but life can be hard, and unfair, and cruel - and just about everyone learns that lesson at some point in their life. Better to learn it when they're young, so when they're older they'll be less likely to manipulated for 22 years like you have.