I understand as well.

It took me ages, but finally I've come to NOT make any apologies for what I need or how I react: These are facts, after all, not just some notion I came up with one day to amuse myself (as if! ha). I view it in the same way as an allergy: I'm allergic to goldenrod, Ivory soap, coconut, latex, and rapid change. They all require a certain amount of time and counter-measures!

And it's a waaay bigger inconvenience for US, IMO, than for the befuddled souls around us, no? Gee too bad about them (sarcasm).

No doubt explains why I've only a few close friends -- which is beyond fine by me.

Yeah I'm not very nice about it when other ppl start in whining about what they want me to do/eat/be , when that upsets my system. It used to drive me totally bonkers, give huge anxiety, all the rest of it. I'm old now and it's just a fact of life: If I have a friend with a lactose & gluten allergy (and I do) why is my "allergy" less legitimate than hers?

Answer: It isn't. One thing that helped (altho at the time we were totally upset and panicked ) was, having 2 of 3 offspring be on the spectrum as well. It helped me understand how to cope, and how to deal with the results of NOT having plans in place for "allergy" fallout. Upsetting a routine had HUGE consequences that went on for days. It was a real "AHA!".

People need what they need to feel comfortable and secure and have a manageable life. The fact that your needs are different from someone else's? That needs to be accommmodated and adapted as you go along. It's normal.

Sorry so long!

Best,

Chyia, Aspie-Lite and not as scared of it as I once was