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scarcejoy
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Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: N/A
Posts: 60
8 yr Member
5 hugs
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Default Nov 06, 2018 at 01:05 PM
 
It feels odd but it has been 3 weeks since my last session with my past therapist. Referring to her in the past tense is hurtful. Besides missing her and feeling sad that our time ended, the feelings that are most affected are my romantic feelings for her. I miss seeing her radiant smile each week. I miss talking to her each week. She was the sunlight of my life. It pains me so much not having anymore communication each week. I daydream about past sessions that I had with her. I daydream about seeing her again. Even though I don't see her weekly, she is still the person that I love the most in my life.

I have met with my new therapist to talk about all of the details regarding my feelings for my past therapist. I talked about those loving feelings to her but I only touched on the surface of those romantic feelings because I was too nervous. I read what I wrote in my journal to my new therapist. I told him all the details. I told him all of my profound feelings, all of my fantasies, all my admiration towards to her, how beautiful she looks, and how much I adore her. That journal that I read was 5 pages long. It felt very healing telling my new therapist all about this. Finally, I don't have to carry all those heavy secrets with me anymore. I load of weight was dropped from my shoulders. I don't have anything to hide anymore. I think the reading of that journal was an important step in my healing process when it comes to missing my past therapist.
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LonesomeTonight, precaryous, SarahSweden, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
precaryous