I'm sorry I don't think I know what to tell you about your life experiences & isolation other than to suggest that this is, perhaps, something it might be worthwhile delving into with the help of a mental health therapist. There is such a thing as a "highly sensitive person". Perhaps this would describe you? Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that talk about what it means to be a highly sensitive person & what to do about it:

What Makes a Highly Sensitive Person?

Do You Feel Emotions Deeply? These Tips Might Help

10 Tips for Highly Sensitive People

How Highly Sensitive People Can Shield Themselves from Negativity

Help for Highly Sensitive People in Big Cities

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-gift...dium=popular17

You wrote that you used to fight thoughts of people wanting to harm you. But now you just let them run their course. Actually this is a pretty wise way to handle thoughts such as these. From my perspective, I'd have to say you're on the right track! There is a practice that is referred to as compassionate abiding. It is my go-to practice for handling all manner of intrusive thoughts, anxiety & other mental health concerns. Here's a link to a description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

Perhaps compassionate abiding could be a good addition to what you're already doing.