Hello Mangojuice: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral.

I don't know as there is a lot I can offer here. I also have tinnitus, by the way. And I've also struggled with back issues. I've never undergone back surgery though. And, thankfully, my back-related issues have subsided as I've aged. You mentioned your dad has seen many doctors (as I understand it) for his tinnitus with no relief. Unfortunately there is no cure for tinnitus at least not that I'm aware of. It's simply something one has to learn to live with. I once had a procedure performed, by an ENT physician, which is referred to as a "perfusion". It supposedly helps although I'm not at all convinced it did any particular good in my case. There was a period of time when I suffered a severe (thankfully temporary) surge in the level of my tinnitus. It sounded as though I had a freight train running through my head 24 / 7! During that time period, my psychiatrist gave me a prescription for Klonopin. And that helped.

I'm glad your dad is going to be seeing a psychiatrist. That is a good step. It might also be beneficial for him to see a mental health therapist as well. I don't know how these sorts of things work where you live. But where I live, all psychiatrists do is to prescribe & monitor psych med's. Any & all discussion regarding what is happening with a person emotionally is left to mental health therapists. And so, while seeing a psychiatrist is certainly a good thing to do, not also seeing a therapist is sort-of like hopping along on one leg, if you'll excuse the analogy.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with this. I have to tell you I think your boyfriend is right. You're 23. Your life is still just beginning. It's not in any way appropriate, to my way of thinking, for you to be towed under by your 59 year old father's problems. You have your own life to live & it's past time for you to go out & begin living it I believe. I know you wrote you feel guilty. And that is certainly to be expected. Perhaps this, along with the anxiety you are experiencing, would be good things for you to be seeing a therapist about. Having a mental health professional with whom you can sort through all of your feelings regarding your dad could be helpful in putting all of this into perspective.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that offer suggestions for managing anxiety:

Anxiety Disorders - Learn the Symptoms & Treatment

Practicing Self-Compassion When You're Struggling with Anxiety

Living with an Anxiety Disorder

9 Ways to Reduce Anxiety Right Here, Right Now

15 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Anxiety Symptoms

https://psychcentral.com/lib/top-10-...s-for-anxiety/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.