I am not currently in therapy.

I can go to the VA hospital and they have all sorts of group sessions. One of the reasons I decided to find someone online was the difficulty I have in face to face socializing with strangers.


There are programming and network security meetup groups I should be going to to stay current but I can't seem to do it. Talking online is very difficult for me and those video chats are extremely challenging to do.


It shouldn't be so hard, just 8 years ago I was teaching college courses, which is a little different than meetup groups but if I can stand in front of 100 strangers I should be able to do this. I have always had avoidant tendencies but they just get stronger as I get older and my mental state devolves.

I have many years of college and have nothing to show for it socially. These were normal college courses and not adult night courses like they have at the local community colleges, so my classmates were significantly younger. That is a good idea to take some night courses.


She asked if she could come in September, she isn't sure she can or even wants to but I said yes. She will be starting the visa process if she decides to come. We will have talked a lot between now and then. That will tell me a lot of her intentions and how sincere they are.

Well, hopefully. I am socially exceptional and have difficulty recognizing social cues unless they have the subtlety of a bat to the head.