OMG... why am I not surprised at this? I have found, in my own case, that if I was going to get anything done correctly I had to arrange it myself. Depending on the so-called professionals to get it right was simply asking for trouble. In some cases my health insurer has been helpful. When neither I nor my wife could make any headway she contacted our health insurer & they, in turn, contacted the mental health professionals I was dealing with. Then things began to happen. (He who holds the purse strings... you know...)

Beyond that I can only reiterate, at least from my experience, one has to figure out for oneself what one needs & then go out & find it... assuming it exists at all. (Sometimes it just doesn't & then you simply have to make do.) Of course the other thing here is that your husband has to be willing to do what he needs to do in order to heal. If he will not, or cannot, there's nothing you can do to make it happen.

If the pdoc your husband is seeing isn't responsive to his needs, it may make sense to see if he can find a new doc. But this can be a challenge. Perhaps you might see if your husband would agree to having you attend an upcoming appointment with his pdoc wherein you could discuss your psych-med-related concerns. This may or may not be helpful though. My own pdoc (when I was seeing one... I don't anymore) was pretty agreeable to anything I wanted. But not all of them are. Some can be pretty arbitrary & disinterested. Still it may be worth a try. My best wishes to you both...