Thank you very much, Guys....well, for ages, I swing back n forth. Ultimately, I've decided I'm letting this go. All I said above is true. I neglected to mention, however, my family and I, well, we are complex/changeable souls. I know they love n care about me, as I do them.

My therapist is such a smart lady, I had a breakthrough, in that, she's helped me realise, my family do ultimately love me. Sadly, there is little trust, on both sides. We all now hold, very fixed, not so great views, about each other n we'd never confide, nor go to each other in a crises. I'm as guilty of neglect, as they, and I do know, the care givers (before me in the family) were also given, so called, tough love. I'll keep on exploring in therapy n again, thanks to you both