My Support Forums - View Single Post - How does one maintain a healthy virtual relationship?

qwerty68 · 03:13 PM

Just reading everyone's take on it is helping me stay grounded.

In a way, she is also. She tells me her 'bad things' so I have 'no illusions about her'. She says I am very warm and trusting so she doesn't want me to think she is the same as me. She also says that I keep her stable and calm which is funny to me because I am never calm inside and I am quite unstable but I guess I am pretty good at hiding it.

I said she could be a little cold but she can be more than a little. Not in a cruel way but it does give me pause. She also might have father issues which might be why she doesn't mind the age difference. She is 8 years older then my oldest daughter which sounds weird but my daughter was born when I was almost 22. The good thing is that it could take close to a year for her to get a visa due to there being far less US embassy workers in Russia now and she doesn't want to come in the winter so it could be a very long time before she can visit so I have lots of time to figure this out.

I have no doubts she is who she claims. I have spent too much time video chatting, even at her work to doubt that. I guess I just have to figure out her intentions. If she is real, maybe her intentions are as well? She just wants to meet me to see if she likes me and enjoys my company in person. Seems unlikely that she would like me. The only thing it is costing me is time, and I have lots of that and talking makes me feel less lonely, which I do realize I deserve to be alone but it is nice to feel this way.

Is it a bad thing she might genuinely like me? I realize it is odd since women don't like me as more than just very casual friends but I guess it is possible I found the one woman that might like me. I understand everyone's concerns about it being a scam, I have those same concerns. I get the impression that even if it is real, some of you have concerns.

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In addition to classes of various sorts, I suggest volunteering. I have done a great deal of this. It provided me an outlet, a way to socialize, and that all important distraction to the loneliness. The other great thing about volunteering is that you are not as invested in the 'work' as you would be in a job.

That is a good idea. I have looked around a little but I should do it more seriously. I do have commitments I made regarding my grandkids but I do have lots of time. Even once a week might be good for me. Between grandkids and updating my new house I do stay busy but being ex-coast guard I do enjoy helping people and maybe more time with adults might be a good thing for me.