Hello,

First of all, as others have said, there's nothing wrong with interest in BDSM or same-sex intercourse. In fact, as far as "fetishes" go, those are among the most common. Also agree that therapy may be a good place for you to begin. I also think that more exposure to those interests and the people who practice them might be helpful for you to overcome the "taboo" and see that it's actually fairly common and there are ways to express those feelings which are safe and healthy.

My best suggestion would be to seek out exposure to those communities in whatever capacity you're comfortable with (online might be a good place to start for overcoming your shyness). In my experience, you will come to find that people who you would consider to just be normal people (even shy people, awkward people, parents, teachers, *therapists*, etc) have these (and even more "out there") interests; BDSM is a relatively common fetish and it's also very common for people to explore same-sex intercourse even if they don't identify as being homosexual. I think it might be healthy for you to get to know the community (either in person or online) and maybe they can help you overcome some of your shy-ness and self-loathing. Perhaps seeking this out will help to normalize these feelings for you and help you come to terms with your own interests.

Quick note: some of these groups, especially in larger cities, offer classes on consent and BDSM safety that I think are immensely important for individuals who are learning about these topics. Be wary of predatory "doms" who seek out inexperienced "subs".

Good luck!