I constantly feel unworthy. Getting over it is a long slow process but it can be done.

Bits and pieces. One step at a time.

This past weekend, my husband and I renewed our vows for our tenth anniversary. Number one, I can't believe anybody lasted ten years with me. Number two, my husband agreed to the renewal even though he's a social phobic and the opposite of a party person. He put himself out there, showing me by his actions, "I'd marry you again." And then there's everybody who showed up for it... my in-laws flew in from two states away. So many people did so much for us to commemorate the occasion. How did I rate?

Even the morning of the event, I was having negative thoughts. Since I was divorced a few times before I met my husband, I could just *hear* my brother saying, "She's had so many weddings, and now she's even marrying a man she's already married to. She'll do anything to get everybody looking at her." That, of course, is not the reason, but sympathetic family members agreed, it does sound like something he would say.

My husband and my in-laws made sure to tell me I deserve every bit of this, and should enjoy it. Still hard to do. Those negative voices are persistent.

I didn't mean to make this all about me. I was just trying to explain how I relate to feeling unworthy.