Quote:
Originally Posted by Quarter life
I returned to mature aged study at 40...and I did it the hard way, through mind numbing hard work, graduating top of the State. However....I totally appreciate that there are many who suffer from attention deficits, and therefor require stimulants to gain focus and manage executive functioning. I totally recommend that you keep an open dialogue with your prescribing doctor to ensure your dosage is benefiting you.. not hindering.
I think you would also do well to reassess your objectives JoeS21..where do you want to be in 5 years? Is the degree you are studying really what you want to do? If you feel that you are on the right road to your goals...then to hell with other students, to hell with what they do to get ahead. Try surrounding yourself with positive people who will support your dreams, if there are none to be found, then use positive self talk and congratulate yourself each and every day for putting yourself out there.
I wish you all the very best moving forward JoeS21...please remember to be kind and generous to yourself.
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Studying is all I've ever wanted to do. If I were on Adderall earlier, I would have been in an Ivy League school, top of my class as a early or mid teenager. Instead, not knowing about it or other study drugs, I prided myself on staying up day and night slaving away at my books sacrificing all else that life had to offer. So-called friends joked about me, but never told me that they were on Adderall, etc. taking short cuts that could have saved my life. Not being in on this "secret" took half my life away and robbed me of being a childhood prodigy, and instead has left me with nothing at all, but foolish memories and false friends who I failed to discover until recently. All I want to be is dead. It is clear that my life will amount to nothing and that everyone in my life let that happen. I have no one to live for, nothing left to hope for, and I resist suicide by injuring by body little by little because it's the most comforting thing left for me in this world. I can only stop my tears by tearing off a finger or hitting my arm with a hammer. I do have a pet and I am trying to make a financial savings for her. Once I am finished, I will gracefully exit this world. I am still looking for an alternative, but I don't think there is one. My pet is the only being alive that I love very much and I hope she will be well cared for. To her, I am very sorry, for everyone else, you shouldn't have done this to me. Who wants to be in a world with awful people like this.