Quote:
Originally Posted by Amyjay
Yes, exactly this! Once I knew those gaps in time were other parts of me that were acting without my control I felt so many, many emotions about it, none of them good. I felt betrayed by myself, embarrassed, ashamed, and so powerless. I also felt defenseless. When other people tell me I have done or said things I have absolutely no defense to offer them. I hate it so much.
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Reading that gave me anxiety because I felt the same way.I would actually lose sleep from thinking about it.
I still feel all those things now after full integration.Just knowing that's what was going on with me my whole life without even having awareness of it is still pretty humiliating tbh.And it's still hard to wrap my head around at times.