Hey guys,

I have been having a reoccurring theme in my dreams for some years now and it's sufficiently distressing for me to what to get advice.

From time to time, my ex partner, we'll call him "Reuben" will appear in dreams and behave in utterly cruel, callous ways towards me. In these dreams, he's never physically abusive, but he'll be subjecting me to intense emotional pain usually by being with someone else, sometimes telling me in what ways they're better than me, and he seems totally oblivious to the hurt I am feeling.

I was with Reuben for almost ten years and I ended it after he had been unfaithful towards me. Even when we were together, I would have these sorts of dreams about him and I would tell him about them. It almost became a joke that "dream Reuben" had been back and he would do what he could to, not very successfully, reassure me that the real Reuben and dream Rueben weren't the same.

Sometimes it feels like the scenarios I dreamt about became reality but even there I recognise that Rueben wasn't totally devoid of feeling; he'd show empathy with my hurt and would be loving in his way.

How can I get rid of this reoccurrence in my dreams?

Thank you for any suggestions.