First of all, I relate to what you are saying about sex seeming animalistic. I've always felt that way too, at least in the way it is portrayed in movies and in porn, and in the way many people go about sex. People going at it like starved animals does not seem intimate to me. And the fact that many people are willing to use anyone to get off when they are in that mood, seems like a very ugly thing to me. So, I can relate to how you feel.

Anyway, from your answers to my questions, I think that you "currently" feel repulsed by sex - at least in the way it is done between most people. The semen anxiety is what most clearly expresses your distress over sex. That is my impression anyway.

Just to let you know, there are other people who feel this way too. I think that getting involved with someone who appreciates you for you and not as a sex object, is very important for you. Being with someone who appreciates who you are and wants to engage in a more gentle form of intimacy, may be what you need. And it is possible that a relationship like that might naturally evolve into something that becomes somewhat more sexual later on, but in a way that feels loving and good to you.