Quote:
Originally Posted by 2daffodils
How do I know if this man is right for me? I said I know he's not right, but I'm not sure. He keeps changing his mind about living with me. He says I'm controlling, but I see him as controlling. He'll say things like, "dont do the dishes", then days later, I see you didn't even do the dishes. I love you and I want you in my life. Days later, I want you to get your things oout and I want nothing from you. Then, I love you. THen, he'll say I don't know what I want. Then he says I miss you already after leaving for one day, and he says, yes I want you to live with me. Then, "as long as we get along"
Can anyone help me out? This confusion is driving me crazy. I often feel like he doesn't appreciate me, but then I feel like I have nothing left if I break up with him and leave him. I have already spilled my guts to a frriend on here, and the opiinion is, he's a jerk and I've nothing to lose, well not much if I leave him or he breaks up with me and takes me back for the umpteenth time.
Do I even know what love is, when this guy can put me down for the smallest mistakes and make me feel worse about myslelf. Yet I think I love him. At this point, I don't care what response I get here, I don't care what anyone thinks of me.
I'm getting older and I don't want to find another bf. Ever. If we break up that's it for me and I feel like I've invested a lot in this relationship for 3 years.
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When a man puts you down, he is not respecting you. When a man changes his mind, pushes you away, then pulls you back in again, the relationship is not stable or secure.
Don't move in with someone when they are disrespecting you and when the relationship is not stable. What happens next? That you go to all the trouble to move in, and suddenly he tells you to move out???? That's not security. Who could live like that? This push and pull is ridiculous....
But just as important is the matter of respect. If he disrespects you repeatedly and criticizes you, why would you want to be with someone like that, right?
You deserve both stability and respect. If you aren't getting either, yes, perhaps friend zone him and keep him at an emotional distance. My advice would be to definitely not move in with him.
I also understand the feeling of if this doesn't work out, I give up... perhaps being alone is better than dealing with this crap.