Hello sadveiledbride: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. If you are feeling suicidal, it is important to reach out, in real life, for the help you need. But, in the meantime, please read the message on the website below. It has helped many people who have been where you are:

Suicide: Read This First

I have to say I just hate it when I read about therapists "firing" clients. What an absolute copout! If a therapist feels s/he isn't helping then s/he has a responsibility to at least try to arrange for the client to see someone who possibly can help. Cut-and-run is not an ethical therapeutic practice, in my opinion.

That said however, if your T is going to fire you, there may not be much you can do about it other than to find a new therapist. But that is what you need to do. There is a sense in which being so attached to one's therapist that one would consider killing oneself, if they lost their T, is not healthy either. So perhaps, all things considered, finding a new therapist isn't the worst thing that could happen? Perhaps it could be a welcome fresh start for you?

So that's my advice. Reach out for help in real life in whatever way works for you given your situation. If you also see a psychiatrist talk to that person, or talk with a trusted family member or friend. Or, if you're truly feeling suicidal, go to the emergency services department of your hospital. And then work on finding a new, better, therapist. And keep posting here on PC as well. It can help too.

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on how to find a good therapist:

How Do You Find a Good Therapist? An Interview with Dr. John Grohol

10 Ways to Find a Good Therapist

How to Find a Good Therapist

Please take care. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

P.S. You might also consider introducing yourself, to the general membership here on PC, over on the new member introductions forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/