Some gossip blows over.
Having to have treatment
In the psychiatric ward does
Not get swept under the carpet.
I may have only spent one month
As an in-patient but it is
The support you have when
You leave that determines
Your likelihood of relapse.
And even though it seemed
As though I would be
One of the lucky ones
Who would get married
And have a family and move on.
I was still hung up on the past.
And hell hath no fury like
A woman scorned. And I
Had old scores to settle.
I never wanted this war.
But if I did not fight, then
I would drift along
As a shadow of my former self.
A tortured soul, a ghost
Unable to pass to the other side
Until someone showed
Me how to find the door.
When I was on a cto, I was
In a session to share what
Obstacles we face on discharge.
And eveyone admitted : the loneliness.
I only said the boredom
As I would end up drinking.
And I said to the nurse when
We went a drive to the beach a week
Later that it seemed like
Some of them did not want to go home.
And they said that people
Get used to feeling safe
In the communal living space.