Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester
I did not want him to make any facial expressions showing enjoyment but it was ok with me if I did. I used to make him cover his face with a pillow. Then other times I wanted him to say dirty things to me. It really hit me about 2 years ago that sex was really animalistic ( i have been sex free and divorced for 6 years) but I do watch porn sometimes. I am really all over the place. I have thought well maybe I would be better off with a woman but I dont really want to be a lesbian. I am attracted to women though. Since I was around 8 thats been the case. Its mainly mother figure types though. Counselors, teachers, etc. She thinks my mom may have abused me. Anyway I asked her about freaking out about my daughter touching my husbands semen. She said I could just be feeling overprotective of my daughter but why though?. Im so confused. Thanks for talking to me. You are really helping.
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First of all, I'm glad to help. I wish that I could come up with a definitive answer, but life never makes it so easy for us.
Is it possible that you consider a man's body fluid and his enjoyment of you as the same repulsive thing? Did your husband's bodily fluid and facial expressions of enjoyment trigger the same feelings of disgust, or were they different?
How do you feel when you watch porn and see men enjoying the women so much? How do you feel if their bodily fluids appear? Do you feel the same degree of disgust watching the porn men as you did when having sex with your husband? Or, do you feel something else for the men you view in the porn?