Thanks everybody!!! . You're all so much help. I Suck (with a capital S if you didn't notice) at venting and voicing my problems face to face. Probably why i choose to go on forums instead. No one, not even those i hold closest to me knows what i go through, and that makes me feel very alone. But i just couldn't imagine saying these things to them. I know they wouldn't judge me, but i can't see them understanding. I know I'll have to do it one day.