This was a good thread on similar topic, I also posted in it about mine in a link to yet another thread:
https://forums.psychcentral.com/psyc...t=transference

I think I've definitely worked through my main pattern, but not with a therapist. I actually believe that it can be more effective to do this using ordinary life experiences and relationships and examine them deeply and honestly in the context of both psych literature and our own life and personality. I think often trying to do this with and though a person we experience transference for can hinder the process and make it really messy, painful and ineffective. Doing it alone does require a good dose of detachment from the actual experience and looking at the larger picture, IMO. But it can be better sometimes, especially if one's pattern does not fit well in the common, textbook cases. When I tried to do some of it with a T, it went in all sorts of wrong, because they T was somehow unable to detach himself from his own pet peeves and fave theories and just kept projecting those onto me, which made me mad because it did not fit at all. I would definitely suggest doing it with a T who is pretty open-minded, creative and can deal with the unknown and evaluate individual patterns in their own context, not just the common literature.

For me personally, this process has been highly beneficial because my transference pattern was not really related to a desire for care and love not received in childhood, but a form of youthful identity search and finding/developing my own values, though associating myself with people who seemed to carry those things - maybe parental in a sense that my parents did not meet some of those quality expectations, not as parents but more as human beings. This is part of my I could do most of the examination on my own and use the findings for self-improvement. I am not sure how it could work with transference that is strongly parental in its nature other than maybe learning to "parent" ourselves and become more self-sufficient and having better self care.