Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Has anyone successfully worked through their transference?
View Single Post
Old 12-02-2018, 12:27 PM
Anonymous55498
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Anonymous55498
Guest
Anonymous55498 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a

Default Re: Has anyone successfully worked through their transference?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myrto View Post
In my experience and from the dozens of accounts I have read about it, no its not possible to work through something like that.
A lot of these transference cases are straight up addictions. The only way to stop an addiction is cutting off supply. Was that way for me. No amount of talking about it with my ex therapist was going to change anything except the state of my bank account.

From what Ive noticed people who say they have worked through it are always still in therapy.
Not exactly a sign that things have been worked through imo.
As someone who has experienced different kinds of addictions, at least one of them very severe, destructive and life-threatening, I tend to agree with the above. But exactly because I was lucky to be able to resolve all of them so far (and therapy did not help in that area), I would confidently say that there are many things one can learn from these experiences that can lead to profound personal growth. Still, if I could go back and choose whether I want this way of learning or not, would definitely choose NO. It comes at way too high cost and often through too much irreversible destruction. I did not get nearly as severely addicted to therapy as to other things, probably in part because the other experiences happened before all of my therapy (and a bit during). I was in a severely addictive personal relationship though before therapy once and there was no other way to resolve that but cut it off completely and even move a few states away from the source. But evaluating the costs and benefits in retrospect, full-blown addictions are never worth it in the grand scheme. And I fully agree that it is only possible to "work through" what drives them once the reinforcer has been stopped for a while. It is just not possible to see truly clearly while still using it and, for most people, moderating it will never be possible again. I am personally very happy that I was able to say 'no' to exploring my obsession with therapy with the therapists themselves. What people most often describe on this forum as "attachment" in therapy (or attachment issues) resemble substance abuse and other behavioral addictions so much to me, I am not sure I would dare to say they do not fit at least a milder form of addiction. And I generally agree with the futile nature of trying to resolve an addiction while still using, trying to think and talk ourselves out of it. What happens more, IMO, is that the reinforcer loses its efficacy over time and then people can move on. But spending decades to achieve that?! Plus, for those that are prone to it, they might just move on to trade it with something else.
 
"Thanks for this!" says: