Mine just said, in the middle of a very emotional discussion (I don't remember the topic, but it was @ 2/3 the way through a long therapy), "FKM, do you want me to be your Father?" It was said very matter of fact-ly, not at all incredulously. My answer was to deflect him, telling him he couldn't be. His response was to say that was true, that he couldn't be my father biologically. Then he said, "FKM, do you think that means that I can't care about you as a Father?"


And then we talked about how I didn't know much about being fathered, and he shared the fatherly feelings he had for me, what they felt like, and how they affected him. That led to a discussion of the ways in which I showed I was searching to fill the emotional need for a father, why that came about, and how I could satisfy those needs through him. Of course, this conversation was only the beginning, and that exploration deepened for the next few years.