Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Has anyone successfully worked through their transference?
View Single Post
Old 12-02-2018, 07:32 PM
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,036
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
Grand Magnate
kecanoe has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,036

10 yr Member
7,166 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Has anyone successfully worked through their transference?

I don't describe my feelings as transference, either. For me the transference happened a long time ago, when T asked if my husband and I wanted to "go deeper" after about 6 mos of successful couple counseling. I said yes because there was part of me that wanted to please him, liked the attention and that sort of thing.

Unfortunately we said yes. That was a bad decision on our parts as it has played out. Each of us had some deep stuff that we were coping with fairly well. The deeper stuff was opening a Pandora's Box. The feelings I have struggled with/still sometime struggle with are intense and painful.
T hasn't bailed on me, continues to be supportive and do his best. I see a second T who is experienced and has specific training with the stuff I struggle with. It is better, most of the time.

I think that a clean break might have been a good idea, but almost 11 years into this, I'm not going to do that. At least not today.

The other thing that I would add is that I think that people who are doing well in therapy don't seem to be on this forum. I do know lots of people who have found therapy helpful and I have had the experience of it being helpful over the years. But the deep, painful dependence on T is not, IMO (or in the opinion of other providers) transference. It is dependence and attachment.
kecanoe is offline  
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says: