Thanks guys,
Yeah. It's possible maybe I didn't have time to properly grieve. I was just getting through psychosis at the time and her death was fairly sudden. She was diagnosed with leukemia then died 9 months later, I had no idea when she left that night for the hospital a day or two later I'd get a call saying she passed away. It wasn't like I was prepared. I mean I knew she'd die one day, and likely sooner due to the cancer but it all happened so quick
Plus, she was the first person in my life ever that's died. We were very close, she was like a best friend to me.
As soon as she died, due to the fact that I was not independent due to schizoaffective/bipolar, I immediately had to move back north east into a state I hadn't lived in in 16 years with family I hadn't seen in any years. Then just a couple months later I moved into my own apartment for the very first time which was a huge adjustment. I took a semester of college, did great, then had to take some time off due to symptoms. I started taking classes again in the spring, the fall semester comes to an end in 2 weeks. It's more stress than I'm used to. So I guess there's a lot that could influence it