I’ve read all the comments on this thread with interest and it seems that a lot of them fall into 2 different types-those who espouse the “technical” description of ‘transference” as being rooted in the past and being played out repeatedly throughout life and those who recognise within themselves that they are in some way “addicted” to the therapist/therapeutic construct- it gives them a high at the time and terrible lows fairly soon after session has finished resulting in often wild /desperate attempts to recreate the high between sessions through often inappropriate/unnecessary email contact which adds more layers to the “addiction” eg checked to see if responded/analysis of response /wish I hadn’t emailed/why no response etc needing to devote next session to these issues-this level of pain and need surely is not maternal/paternal transference?.- erotic maybe - genuinely wanting to have a real relationship with the therapist maybe but if it consumes your waking (sometimes dreaming) life and I’ve been there- it’s an obsession or addiction -I knew that and it’s horrendously painful when you realise this and even worse when you realise that you have to pull yourself out of the situation-no amount of discussing the relationship,acting out,faking that you’re ok etc will solve it
It’s the most insidious and damaging experience of my life and although I’ve had no contact for a few months and am moving forward in other areas of my life I’m still indulging in obsessional thoughts/stories/fantasies about the bl..dy man-i hate what the relationship created but I can’t hate the man- very very scary and not somewhere I ever wish to go again-I don’t believe that “transference “ is anything like as common as it’s purported to be if it even exists-it’s a construct that suits the profession