It's 8pm here so I have to wait till tomorrow since it's public doc and I can't have his number, even if something would be happening.. I'm not surprised, when there's so many patients that my doctor stays 2-3h longer than his working hours, it must be really hard to monitor every patient for doctors like this one.. at least he's nice enough to stay and see every person that comes to his office..
I feel insane because of meds too.. I went to first psychiatrist because of panic attacks I had Everytime I was trying to go outside, but besides this I was feeling completely normal in my head. but when I tried first SSRI medication, I started to have depersonalization and derealization, feel suicidal, have intrusive thoughts, feel like possessed, ended up with depression and more.. haven't been taking any medication for a couple of years, but all of this stuff which meds caused , is still in my head..
I stopped crying , but I feel so much fear right now after this breakdown.. I feel like possessed, like I'm not myself at all, everything seems to be so strange.. and I have crazy thoughts, feelings, visualisations in my head of killing myself and everyone in flat.. psychiatrist said stuff like you're scared of it so you won't do it, therapist says I'm scared of it so I'm not a psycho and that he thinks that states like that are caused by my strong fear and anger I keep in myself but idk.. hang tight but I wonder hang tight to what heh..