No you are not alone. I am 56 now and my dad passed away in 2000. My Dad was never given the tools to be able to express himself or communicate on an emotional level. Apart from anger. He did the best he could by providing a roof over our heads and putting food on the table. As a kid you dont understand that. I suppose that was the only way he knew. Otherwise he was emotionally absent. When I went to his funeral it was like being at the funeral of a stranger. Maybe it was the era that he was brought up in. Mum was emotionally absent too. The couldn't give what they never had themselves.

Deciding for ourselves now how we need to learn to nurture and affirm ourselves is a journey is our job now. Hope that you have some good people around to to bring the light and life back.