I know you are not the only one with these feelings; I also have some too but in a different way. Due to a few surgeries down in "man land" to correct prior birth defects I have lost some sensations. Couple that with an aging body and 40 + years of marriage, one needs to find new ways to be turned on. For me the fact is many of those ideas are outside of my comfort zone. In other words, things I suggested for my wife and I to try a while back that were once and shamed are now getting a second look. The problem is I blocked those thoughts from my mind years ago never to consider them again, i.e. off limits. I will admit we were never what one would call adventuresome in the bedroom. No talking, just do it. Missionary, once in a while doggy and no oral. Now we are in a phase of our marriage when communication is urgently needed. We haven't had intercourse in about 10 years because of my ED and wife being post menopausal. I feel very uncomfortable because of shame for my prior thoughts and suggestions. Talk about turning off sex drive....shame does that. I am seeing a counselor and hopefully going somewhere with this. I hope you can find some answers. As counselors will tell you that brain is the largest sex organ and many issues start there.