RE: COMPLEX PTSD & LOSING ONES SYSTEMS OF MEANING

What it means to lose your systems of meaning ...

1. You don't trust anyone or anything - including yourself.

2. You don't believe in anyone or anything - including yourself.

3. Hope & Faith are something that got lost and/or tossed along the way.

You want these things, but the brutality of all the previous betrayals by your abusers have you hiding like a whipped puppy underneath the porch.

You want to come out and play.

To experience what it is like to be touched, held and loved in a nurturing way ...

But, you're just too damned scared to allow yourself the risk of another betrayal by another human being at the expense of your mind, body and soul.

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I had previously posted this here at PC (a couple of years ago) before I left and came back ... I wanted to revive (revisit) it because I'm still struggling mightily with it and often feel so thoroughly defeated by it ... It's been like this my whole life - even before I know that there was a name for what's been ailing me ... Not sure if I'll ever be able to overcome it or not and that makes me feel extremely empty, sad, bereft and lonely.