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Old 12-05-2018, 04:29 PM
Anonymous56870
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Anonymous56870
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Default the hurt doesnt go away!

Hello,
I am living now in a strange situation. I was with a man a few years ago. He left me because I had a bad attitude toward him and in life (I was in burn-out, I had panic attacks and I was even in hospital for a depressive relapse). he supported me but from afar. We were not together officially. He stayed single though. He promised to come back to me but he doesnt want to say when. So basically I am waiting for him but I dont know how long I have to wait. He says I must work on myself to tolerate that uncertainty because I act like a baby looking for attention. But in my mind I feel ok... because I trust him.. and if he is still single and he wants to come to me.. than I am fine. BUT ... I am hurt by the uncertainty and the waiting!!! I feel it like a rejection and I feel abandoned. I am trying to reason myself... but my emotions of pain wont go away. I feel sad and angry sometimes. But mostly sad... I feel like garbage. I feel really worthless.

I still love that man even if he is like that...

And also... I already tried online dating which didnt work for me and I dont have that motivation to find a random guy and date a random guy. I am not into that really. I wanted to marry and have children.
So I do trust him... but these emotions of uncertainty and hurt (because I feel reejcted)... they drain me and undermine all my joy and motivation in life... basically I am in depression right now. I am doing my best to work.. but it is truly hard because I feel hurt.. I feel almost physically wounded.. this is how strong is the hurt.
How can I strengthen myself? How can i sooth the hurt? knowing that there is no escape to the situation.
Thank you for your help!
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