One option for easing the pain is to stop waiting.
The wound does not heal because it is being allowed to stay open.
You are not a baby, it is reasonable to want to know when someone is going to be part of your life, if ever.
If it had been a few years since you were with him, and you were not officially together even at that time, then I question his commitment to you.
Maybe it feels like rejection and abandonment because that is what he in fact has done.
You are evidently not getting any nearer to your goals. How long are you prepared to wait for him?
An option is to block him and look for someone who is willing to be available to you.
That looks like a healthy option to me.